dear jennifer...

This email showed up in my inbox the other day and I just couldn't help but post it and write my response.

Read on...

Dear Jennifer,

My name is Kevin and I'm 17 years old.  I know this might not be your
particular area of expertise, but since you deal with beauty and
self-image issues I thought you might have have some good insight on an
experience I recently had. It involved a girl I had just met at a
dance. We talked for a good half hour and seemed to be hitting it
off. She was very pretty, smart and nice. We even exchanged email
addresses. I was so excited!

Then, things suddenly went downhill. I commented that she had a
“really nice, hourglass figure”. I thought she would take it as a
compliment but instead she became deeply offended. I went into damage
control mode and tried to clarify my comments but I think I only made
things worse when I used the term “healthy”. With a look of complete
disgust, WHAP!, she slapped my face and departed.

As I was standing there alone rubbing my cheek, with my friends nearby
laughing at me, I was wondering why she was so offended. She had a
classic hourglass figure - very busty, narrow waist, shapely hips/legs.
I guess she had interpreted “hourglass” as meaning big/overweight/full
figured. Why can't girls embrace their curves?

Btw, I do have her email address. Do you think I should her an apology
note or should I interpret the slap in the face as another way of
saying she does not want to see me again?

Dear Kevin,

First of all, can I just totally thank you for making me feel like Dear Abby as I write this?  I mean I am channeling her in a big way right now.  Go me!

Moving on to your dilemma (*ahem*)...

Why can't girls embrace their curves?  There is a myriad of reasons why that's so hard for many women to do.  I could totally go on and on answering this question alone, but for time's sake I'll just get mention one that comes to mind.

The media.

Let's be honest here, the world is not to kind on anyone who doesn't fit into the ideal-size mold.  If a celeb puts on a few pounds...everyone's a critic.

If memory serves me, wasn't there an article written recently where a journalist called out Jennifer Anistion and Courtney Cox for looking a little on the heavy side?  COURTNEY COX and JENNIFER ANISTON!!!???

My left thigh is bigger than Jennifer Aniston's waist (not literally, but you catch my drift right?) and here she is being chastised for (maybe?) putting on a pound or two.  I mean, I honestly didn't think she did...but if she gained 5 lbs it's not a big deal.  She looks great!

You get where I'm going here?

What kind of message does that send to a teenage girl?

A girl who's already insecure and in the process of trying to figure out who she is.

That might be a little of where she's coming from.

To start off, just lose the words healthy, big-boned, curvy, shapely, and voluptuous from your vocab.

At least for now.

Try replacing them with beautiful, gorgeous, stunning, and amazing.

Also, learn how to respond correctly to a female.

For instance, if I say to my husband hey, does my butt look big in these jeans he better damn well reply (very quickly too) why no honey, not at all.

Because if he didn't...there would be hell to pay.

Trust that.

So my advice to you is this.

If you really like this girl, start groveling now.

Just grovel like you've never groveled before.

Then maybe, just maybe, she'll accept your apology and allow you into her life.

Maybe.

You better hope she does too...she actually sounds pretty fabulous.

Any girl who'll smack a guy in the face, then turn on her heel and leaves is the shiz in my book honey.
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What about you guys?

What do you think?

Leave a comment below!